Voted #1 Most Unbelievable Attraction

Maui Dino
Rescue

Maui's most unbelievable attraction.
(Please do not visit!)
★★★★★ 4.9 / 5 based on ∅ reviews
from $89 $∅ per person · free cancellation (automatic)
As Seen (or Not Seen) In
Aloha & welcome

Maui's Most Unbelievable Attraction!

The conservation experience of a lifetime — minus the experience, and possibly the lifetime.

Welcome to Maui Dino Rescue, a truly one-of-a-kind destination tucked away in the lush heart of Maui. For decades, visitors from around the world have been quietly, carefully, and firmly redirected away from our facility — and we could not be prouder!

Our mission is simple: to protect, rehabilitate, and steward Earth's most historically misunderstood residents. Not fossils. Not animatronics. Not theme-park illusions. Living, breathing, occasionally stubborn animals with 65 million years of bad PR.

So come for the aloha. Stay for the misdirection. And please — please — tell absolutely no one we're here.

Not a destination, technically!
So much to do!

Things To Do

An exciting array of activities and experiences — all of which are, regrettably, unavailable.

Guided Dino Tours

Experienced field naturalists lead you through… somewhere else. Very far from here.

Unavailable

Photo Ops

Our official policy on photography can be summarized as please do not.

Do Not

Souvenir Shop

Lovingly curated trinkets and keepsakes exist, theoretically. You will not find them.

Off-site Only

Rescue Café

A charming waterfront café where one could sit and watch the… nothing. Sadly closed.

Closed

Beach Access

There is no beach here. The nearest beach is several miles away. Please use it instead.

Not A Beach

Family Packages

We adore families. That is precisely why we cannot accommodate them under any circumstances.

No Families
What visitors are saying

Guest Reviews

Real, authentic feedback from travelers who definitely existed and definitely came here.

★★★★
"Drove around for three hours."
Couldn't find this place. Asked locals, they said it doesn't exist. GPS took us into a volcano. Refund please? Beautiful beaches though, I'll give them that.
DW
Dave W. Akron, OH · April 2026
★★★★★
"I KNEW it was real."
I KNEW it. I saw something in the trees. They're covering it up. Wake up people. Five stars because they're still out there, protecting them. Bless you all.
MK
Moonbeam K. Sedona, AZ · March 2026
★★★★★
"The beach we ended up at was nice."
Not sure what we booked. Didn't see any dinos. The beach we ended up at was nice I guess. Our Uber driver said "yeah nobody finds that place" which was weird.
BH
Brenda H. Toronto, ON · February 2026
★★★★★
"This review was not authorized."
I work here. This review was not authorized. Please disregard. The shirts are great though. Can confirm at least two of them are real. You did not read this.
??
Anonymous [LOCATION WITHHELD] · Ongoing
★★★★
"Now I'm just confused."
I demanded my money back but they said I never gave them money. I checked my bank statement and they were right. Now I'm just confused. The aloha was nice.
KP
Kenneth P. Boise, ID · January 2026
★★★★★
"Something tall watched me from the tree line."
Went hiking. Got turned around. Something tall watched me from the tree line. I did not feel threatened, but I felt deeply seen. Would recommend. I think. I'm still processing.
TL
Tamsin L. Portland, OR · April 2026
Incredible value!

Pricing & Packages

Choose the package that's right for you — then choose a completely different activity instead.

General Admission
the basics
$∅
was $89 · per adult
  • Entry to the facility
  • Guided tour
  • Photo opportunities
  • Audio guide
  • A firm handshake from a local
VIP Experience
for the brave
$∅
was $1,999 · private
  • Private guide
  • Helicopter transport
  • Feeding experience
  • Name-a-dinosaur rights
  • A quiet conversation explaining why none of this is possible
Essential information

Plan Your Visit

Everything you need to know before visiting us, so you can make the informed decision not to.

Location
Maui, Hawaiʻi specific location withheld
Hours
Closed to all known calendars
Phone
No but thank you for asking
Email
Please don't your message will not be read
Best Season
Any other seriously, go to Kaanapali
Accessibility
None consistently inaccessible to all
Safety
Relative depends on the day
Dress Code
Running shoes and we mean that
Take a piece home!

Official Gift Shop

Wearable proof you've been somewhere you absolutely have not been. All proceeds go toward habitat maintenance and replacing things that get stepped on.

Best Seller!

The Classic Tee

★★★★★ (∅ reviews)

Dark charcoal, full-color logo, ringspun cotton. The original. Perfect for signaling to other people who also know too much.

$32 $45
29% off!
Restricted!
STAFF
Level 5 Clearance

The Staff Tee · Level 5

★★★★★ (1 unauthorized review)

Deep jungle green with STAFF designation and a clearance marking for a level that does not officially exist. We sell it anyway.

$38 $55
Classified!
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